Former English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the disease.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the moment," he commented.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's going. We understand that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, says instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the disease deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or possibly I deal with matters differently, and once I have the information, it's easier," he added.
First Indications
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some weakness in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy was ineffective for the issue, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately very moved about it, but it's so strange because I think everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't experience ill. I don't sense unwell
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to performing whatever I want. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Disease Development
MND can develop quickly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and above half within 24 months of detection, as swallowing and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only delay decline.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Conversing from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We sat on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and started removing the moisture off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody stated the emphasis was being in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be extremely militantly focused on just welcoming and appreciating all aspects now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been truly fortunate that the sole determination I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as possible. We won't recover those years back."
Sportsman Connection
Professional sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with studies suggesting the prevalence of the disease is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is considered that by restricting the oxygen available and producing damage to neural pathways, consistent, intense training can initiate the condition in those previously predisposed.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his brave, unwavering approach to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a workout altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a practice gear and commenced throwing himself into collisions.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the decisive moment of play, creating a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding field goal.
Backing Community
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other previous players about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that sort of affection and recognition that people are present is the crucial thing," he commented.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to consider your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"To have done it for so long a time with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will wish to assist in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
